dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
