I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
