When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
