dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
