McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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