its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
