Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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