Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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