That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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