Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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