Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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