So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We had sex on a dog bed..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
