trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
