Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
More tranny stories later!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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