Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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