Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
