if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
