i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
