it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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