Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
