who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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