i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
