Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
