You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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