OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
