: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
