I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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