waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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