its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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