Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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