Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
