It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I need moral support for this bender
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
