I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this boner is exhausting
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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