there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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