U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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