Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
