it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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