Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
