Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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