Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
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You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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