I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
