dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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