I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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