Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
