Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
