take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
