Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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