I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
