i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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