I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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