Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
