Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
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when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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