And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
