so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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