this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She made me pour olive oil on her.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize