***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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