I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
