yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
