these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i think my cat just said my name.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize