He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we're chasing vodka with high fives
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
