My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
