Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
