Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.